Here at the Vagenda, we’re not all that keen on the 2D porn you pick up in your average SoHo backstreet, tbh. I’m not sure about you, but close-up penetrative shots directly following a pizza delivery fail to get our pulses racing. We prefer it when the knickers are coming off for a some kind of reason, no matter how tenuous (I once shagged someone because they played rugby.)


Some of us need sophisticated characterisation, the hint of a sub-plot, metaphor, and/or a central protagonist with some kind of conflict to get our pulses racing. Actually, that sounds kind of like a BOOK – and so we’ve come up with some porn-y alternatives to great literature that we’re sure would take a cosy place alongside Chesty Morgan and Jordan circa 1995 if someone would only give them a chance. Directors, take note. 


The Mound and the Fury

To Fill a Fucking Bird

The Golden Scrotebook

One Screw Over a Cuckold’s Chest

Fear of Clothing in Las Vegas

Great Sexpectations

Muff in a Cold Climate

Sperms of Endearment

Toss Off The D’Ubervilles

The Cunterbury Tales (with dirty enough content anyway to have an entirely faithful film reproduction classed as ‘adult’)

Madame Ho-vary

Thus Poked the Zara-Thruster

Screwlysses

Tom’s Midnight Hard-on

The Adventures of Fuckleberry Sin

Catch 22 STDs

The Great Twatsby

A Midsummer Night’s Cream

Bride’s Head Rejizzited

The Masturbator and Margarita

Flangela’s Gashes

Fucky Jim

Finnegan’s Wank


Dulce et Decorum Breast


A Tale of Two Titties


Nineteen Eighty PHWOAR


The Life and Opinions of Tristam Hand Shandy


The Lord of the Rims




More suggestions would be most welcomed. Tweet us your #pornotitles @vagendamagazine. 


Lots of love,


The Vagenda Team