The Vagenda

Having Perky Tits Makes You Happy

Imagine the Daily Fail’s joy when this slice of fried gold landed in their inbox today: a “unique” study led by Manchester University, who clearly need more things to worry about, has discovered “push-up bras make women 75 per cent more confident.”

“Hoorah!” Trumpeted the Features Ed and his dancing trousers: “A legitimate reason to put tits on the page, and we didn’t even have to pay anyone to make a sex tape!”

It has, apparently, led Professor Geoff Beattie (who headed the study) to call for a stop to ‘unnecessary boob jobs’. How noble. Maybe stop doing patronisingly lame studies in the first place, Manchester Uni, that pesky AIDS thing is still hanging around, after all…

Professor of Psychology at The University of Manchester Geoff Beattie apparently called the results ‘striking’. I bet he did. I bet he will also be quite struck when all of women-kind start marching around with their tits hoiked up to their eyeballs.

Here at Vagenda we reckon a bra that fits properly is important. We also like nice, beautiful bras, that are all lacy and make us feel good. But they don’t need three feet of padding and a suspension mechanism to rival a Range Rover’s to make us feel good. Nor do we feel they are important enough to warrant serious “academic” study.

We don’t want you to burn your bra, we just don’t think you need to feel 75% better about yourself when your boobs look bigger, no matter what the hotbed of groundbreaking research that is Manchester University tells you.

4 thoughts on “Having Perky Tits Makes You Happy

  1. Actually, this might be marginally useful inasmuch as I recently read that women who’ve had boob jobs are apparently on average no happier than those who haven’t – so if a possibly slightly uncomfortable bra does have positive effects then it’s much cheaper, easily reversible and with no long term side effects other than backache ?

    I think dressing up smart or provocative can be fun for either gender, at least some of the time. I wonder if the prof. will now do a similar study on codpieces ?

  2. I need to re-read this article everyday!! I’m still working on training myself to love my b-cup boobs WITHOUT enough padding to qualify as a floatation device. My husband is a wonderful, feminist man who think it’s absurd for me to go around with my boobs pushed up to my nose, or to feel like I look ‘better’ with them in such an unnatural fashion, but I haven’t yet been able to shake the deeply ingrained feeling that my boobs are just pathetically small without some help, and I can’t possibly call myself sexy without adding some volume to them.

    Dammit, I should KNOW better!!!

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