The Vagenda

Spayed in Chelsea

Caggie’s columns can be found here.

Caggie Dunlop, the main one from Made In Chelsea, is now the Evening Standard’s sex columnist. The Standard have a god-awful history of sex columnists – Millicent Binks and her sex dungeons made me want to stab myself in the eye with a Rampant Rabbit – but at least they mentioned actual sex.

The best bit about Caggie’s column is the name, Laid In Chelsea, which we anticipate took the work experience kid on the subs desk 4.5 seconds to come up with during which time he also made 8 coffees and refreshed his Facebook.
Last week, Cags waffled about her current beau wanting to have Skype sex (change the setting so you can’t see yourself, advises The Cagster, then lie back and think of England without portraying visible AWK).
This week she tackles the issue of a girl being called a ‘scrubber’, a term she hadn’t heard of until a few days ago. Right. Anyway, Cagz reliably informs us that a scrubber is not as bad as a slut, as she had initially though, but almost.
Love it when girls use the word slut…
And then:
“I know an old, outdated cliché such as this shouldn’t irk me. But it really does. Why, in this ultra-modern day, can men act in exactly the same amorous way — however they like, in fact — minus the nasty labels?”
Why are you questioning, Caggie Dunlop, the fact that you are irked?
There is nothing old or outdated about men bandying around words like slut and scrubber to talk about women who are having sex. There is nothing old or outdated about men doing this and acting in exactly the same way as the woman.
Ironically, as detailed in her many examples of male misogynism and double standards, the ‘cliché’ as Cag rather flippantly calls it, is still alive and kicking. Even, she notes despairingly, ‘in my circles’.
So what hope do all the peasants have?
Apparently, the solution is to stop telling men you have sex, as she wisely notes at the end. I am left wondering who we are meant to have sex with, exactly? Us straight girls may run into some problems…