The Vagenda

Dick Flick of The Week

10 Snapshots that should warrant the eternal rotting in hell of ‘Piranha 3DD’ (Yes, the title says it all.)

What could be worse than a degrading, mushy chick flick? Oh, that’s right – a twenty-times-worse dick flick.

Released this week, we have the hotly anticipated ‘Piranha 3DD’ (no, that’s not a typo) with a trailer featuring all of the faceless, wet and screaming bikini’d women one could expect from such a title. We’re promised “Double the action, double the terror and double the D’s” in the “Big Wet Water park” governed by “water certified strippers,” a sarcastic David Hasselhoff and a man whose legs are made of guns. Not to mention the countless female victim count, the implied genital mutilation and the fact that Laura Mulvey may have to rename her theory the “Piranha Gaze” – don’t those fish have a lovely view? The lads are in for a real treat:

Oh, the humanity!
- GJ

2 thoughts on “Dick Flick of The Week

  1. Oh! I just had a terrible nightmare that a torture-porn thinly disguised as a movie about a water park was actually produced and marketed as a legitimate film! Obviously, it had to have just been a dream, right? No way that could actually happen! Right? Guys..?