The Vagenda



Woman magazine thinks funny women are one big joke!
Have you ever heard of Woman magazine? Probably not. It caught my eye in my local Morrisons (under the helpful ‘women’s interest’ section). And not because of the two page spread informing me Lorraine Kelly has made a friend. Seriously, two pages!
It wasn’t because of the recipe that tells you to how to make a chicken curry by adding the Lloyd Grossman Curry sauce and heating thoroughly, either. No way, is that how a stir in sauce works? I used to just eat it with a spoon, cold, while crying. 
No, what really sold it for me was this article, written by tabloid hack Claudia Connell: Men prefer funny women? DON’T MAKE ME LAUGH!
(By the way, Connell has previous. Here’s some of her earlier work:
- ‘The good thing about Bingo Wings is that they are a great leveller’
- ‘Harper Seven…our youngest and poutiest fashionista’
- 12 months on from THAT dress, we celebrate Britain’s most famous bottom [a gallery of images of Pippa's arse accompanied by lame captions]
I think the Vagenda may have found a new friend- Ed) 
Connell’s ‘men hate funny women’ article made me want to grab the nearest human and shout WHY into their face loudly until I was escorted out of the supermarket. It features the subtitle ‘in my experience’, which everyone knows is womens’ magazines way of saying ‘fuck logic, instead I am going to spout stupid idiotic opinions followed up with a smug ‘and that is a fact, because it happened to me once”’, when in fact, it is as far removed from a fact as a fact can possibly be i.e a fallacy. It once thought it saw a fact, but it was in fact a fake Wikipedia article. 
This is why this article is so bad:
‘As a male friend of mine very bluntly put it: “Men don’t go for funny women. They’ve got their mates for that. They just want to you to look nice and not be bunny boiler.’”
Wow, he seems like a catch. I mean you can tell a lot about a woman by the company she keeps and this says pretty much everything. I wish I could hang out with you and your friends Claudia Connell, it sounds like so much fun!
Claudia goes on to spout nonsense about her ‘wickedly funny single friends’ but alas they have all found out that ‘a man can laugh a woman into bed, but a funny woman will laugh a man straight of the door.’
Good one Claudia. You certainly crack me up.
Claudia likes to get to the real grit of the issue and she uses her highly scientific personal dating evidence. She is always going on dates with men, making them laugh, but then she never hears from them again. (Claudia Connell FACT: She once abstained from giving blood on the basis that she would have to forgo her Botox. Just sayin’)
‘Yet, whenever I ignored all the dating advice and chose not to be myself I fared so much better. Any date where I sat there in virtual silence, girlishly flicking my hair and laughing uproariously at all his gags – always left the guy wanting more.’
WHAT? I mean seriously, WHAT? Claudia’s advice is to just sit there in some kind of horrific girly coma, regaining consciousness only to laugh at the man’s hilariously unfunny story about how he and the guys from work got smashed and ended up in a wheely bin. HILARIOUS.
I am not here to argue whether women are funny, aren’t funny, or can’t be funny – because that is not an argument. Seriously. Funny women exist and they aren’t left single and miserable. In fact its hugely attractive quality.
This is brought out by the study which Claudia quotes in her own article. Men ranked humour as their most sought after quality when it came to women. Sure, it is a completely unsourced study, but it holds up much better than: ‘I’m lucky enough to have three very witty male friends. As well as making people laugh they also have another thing in common – they’ve all married extremely dull women.’
Because maybe they’re not dull Claudia, maybe you’re the one who is dull. Or maybe these ‘very witty male friends’ (if your other male friend is anything to go by), are the black holes of humour – sucking joy and fun from everyone’s lives, including those of their previously interesting wives. 
Now I am not saying that Claudia isn’t the funniest women ever (but really I am) and I’m not saying that men don’t date her because she thinks acting like a piece of wood is great way to get a husband (I am also saying that).
But coming from something that calls itself Woman magazine, it is highly depressing that anyone trying to represent women would think like this. The funniest women I know have never had problems getting men and if a man rejected them for being funny then why would they want to date him? 
So what we have concluded is funny women are awesome and don’t date any of Claudia Connell’s friends. 
- EB

4 thoughts on “HA HA HA

  1. Perhaps the wives-of-friends don’t talk to Claudia Connell because a) they don’t want to end up in some rubbish article in a rubbish magazine or b) they don’t like her all that much and don’t want to.

  2. Woman magazine – my mum used to read that about 20 years ago, when it was a bit more like Good Housekeeping, then a few years ago it rebranded itself as another celebrity trash rag arse wipe. So there you go, in case you were wondering.

    PS I am hilarious. And married.

  3. I have similarly spent many a tearful evening eating cold Lloyd Grossman sauces. This post has been very enlightening. I am now questioning whether there has been something missing from my Cup-a-Soup sachets all these years.

  4. This is what irks me about most of these ‘women’s mags”, the way both sexes are treated as a homogenous group. I’m sure Claudia is right that there are *some* men who don’t like funny women, but generally that’s because they are insecure, tedious douchebags. The advice Claudia gives seems to assume that all women just want to be with “a man” ANY man, irrespective of tedium, insecurity or douchebaggery.