Every now and then in our professional field (professionally eating white chocolate spread out of a tin while writing about internet feminism), you come across some Really Important Questions that set you thinking about your entire ideological positioning and what it means in an international context.
And sometimes you don’t.
This post is dedicated to the ones that have prompted me to have a bit of a Nicholas Cage moment which involves me smearing the white chocolate spread all over myself just like Cage does with all that black paint or tar or whatever (if you haven’t seen that linked video, I urge you to stop ALL THINGS immediately and watch it. It’s important.)
So. Without further ado – here’s the stupidest side of the online media on feminism. Feel free to contribute your own, and read at your own peril.
I knew equality was gonna ruin pretty much everything but now MY SEX LIFE TOO?!
The ONE THING that unites ALL FEMINIST WOMEN.
Those BASTARDS. And you know how it did it? Because feminists hate cooking…
…Because they’re all too busy being fangirls for Mad Men, duh.
OR DO THEY?! The one question that’s been on all of our minds.
Probably because of that EVIL DARK HYPNOTISING ANGEL IN THE BACKGROUND. She’s definitely in on it. I bet she hates home cooking and always orders takeaways to watch with Mad Men while she refuses to have sex on a Friday night.
Guys, we totally shot ourselves in the foot here. And by foot I mean vagina. ABANDON FEMINIST SHIP.
How could it not, when the legal profession is mainly based around home cookery courses and shunning Mad Men?
But isn’t divorce a legal procedure?!
Hate to break it to y’all, but I think we’ve all been united in understanding that ‘fuck’ is the real F word for a pretty long time. But I guess if it can’t have F all to itself, it may as well go preying on some other letter in the alphabet…
Beminism: just as catchy? But if you’re not sure exactly what a ‘feminist’ even is anymore, there’s a handy checklist that the Yahoo! user base has put together below:
No substance abuse, no feminism. Got that, ladies? Now leave feminism to the REAL feminists and go find yourselves some other reason to shirk the washing-up.
Back to Nicholas Cage.