The Vagenda

12 thoughts on “How To See if You Have Perfect Tits, According to The Times

  1. I don’t know how I’m going to break the devastating news to my boyfriend of four years that I don’t possess the perfect nipple-angle or breast tissue ratio :(

  2. I… What…? Uh I have… What’s going on?

    Apart from the obvious, the mathematician in me is SCREAMING “How can you measure an *angle* in PERCENT?” Aaaaaaaaaagh!

    Sorry, I’m done now.

  3. Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat??????

    Well thank you very much, Kelly Gilbert, as if I wasn’t self conscious enough about my boobs through constant exposure to “perfect” boobs in the media… I really needed your article to remind me.

  4. The Times…how are the mighty fallen! That it should come to this. And people get paid for writing this drivel. The said Dr Mallucci was apparently an incompetent doctor character in ER some years ago, or, in a more recent incarnation, a member of BAPPS (I kid you not) – enlighten (or depress) yourself further by visiting the forum at http://www.sofeminine.co.uk.

    P.S.Joanna, point well taken about the mathematical boobs (sic). Now I’m off to see how I measure up.

  5. My boobs are odd. And they won’t be making any page three. The women who do my bra measuring at M&S like to tell me that my boobs are different sizes. But they look good in a bra. And my partner seems quite ecstatic about them. And I have a swimming cozzie that makes them look good without having to wear a halterneck and breaking my neck under the weight of my breastacles.

  6. But what if I’m never ‘ready for the scalpel’, Times?? What do I do when my time comes and I am forced as all women are to undergo unnecessary cosmetic surgery and I’m not READY??!?

  7. Ditto….

    The world is on it’s ass when The bloody Times publishes this bollocks.

    In fact, that’s a great plan – let’s have an article next week about the perfect pair of testes!

  8. Why are the Times wasting time on this?In any case ,perfect is meaningless as perfection is in the eye of the beholder…