The Vagenda

Memo to Both Men and Women: My Big Tits Do Not Belong To You

eyes

I feel embarrassed typing this, but I am a woman with large breasts and it is not easy. There, I’ve said it. Now, this subject-matter has made me feel awkward for some time, and I know why. It is because we are indoctrinated to believe that large boobs are the epitome of femininity; that nothing short of space-hopper tits embellished with kitten-tongue pink nipples the size of place mats are desirable; that a full curvaceous bosom and a cleavage that looks like an ass crack tightly trussed up with wires and lace so it resembles a Christmas turkey caught in a weird sex act with a doily is womanly and beautiful.

Women are either supposed to feel proud if they are boasting “more than a handful,” or to dutifully check themselves in to be sliced open and stuffed full of silicon sacks if they are anything below a ‘D’ cup. The lingerie industry plays into our insecurities by marketing supposedly boob enhancing bras that will produce plump, shapely busts as an absolute must for any self-respecting lady. Therefore, in short, any woman who complains about having large breasts is considered irritating, like she is feigning unhappiness with her body in a bid to draw attention to her most valuable assets and to solicit admiring, envious compliments from others. Other women are more than happy to re-mortgage their houses and take out high-interest loans in order to bounce a mile in your Bravissimo, after all. Just be thankful for what you have. But the truth is, in my experience, having large breasts can unfortunately make you a target for negative attention from men and women alike.

I am not an exhibitionist. I don’t walk around wearing nothing but fluorescent pink tassels, twirling them enthusiastically when trying to hail a taxi and the likes (if nothing else, I lack the co-ordination). I am very conscious of my breast-size, but when you have an ample bosom it can be difficult to dress them. A polo neck does nothing more than make me look like an old matron who is shaped not unlike a loaf of bread, whilst simultaneously amplifying their size. Pretty fitted blouses often fall to the floor of my bedroom like dead bodies as they fit everywhere but across my bust. Unfortunately, anything that is tight-fitting and shows a little bit of cleavage is likely to be interpreted as an animalistic attempt at sexual flirtation, with zombified men becoming aroused and dragging themselves into London-town from as far as High Wycombe using their own cocks like dowsing rods to hone in on the areole every time I, or any other well-endowed woman, slips into a saucy v-neck top.

And this is not because I am a particularly attractive woman. I am ordinary by anyone’s standards. It is just something about the breasts that make men think it is alright to stare or grab or make lewd comments. For example, I was on the tube home recently looking nothing short of ragged after a hard week’s grind when a man was blatantly starting at me (or rather, my chest). My hair looked like I had rubbed a balloon on it, my cheeks were flushed following a particularly hectic day in the office, I was wearing odd socks, and my coat was a bit tight owing to an intense three-week fling with a selection of buff, refined carbohydrates. Even the most conservative of commentators would be hard pressed to accuse me of having dressed “too provocatively.”

The man fixed his eyes on my breasts for the entirety of the journey. I could see his slack-jawed reflection in the window as I went through the motions of reading my book. Once or twice I pretended to look down the carriage in the hope it would startle him into looking away, but instead our eyes met, he smiled wryly, and then continued to stare. I quickly turned my head away.

The thing is, to be stared at is intimidating. Whilst there are other people around it is difficult to share your concerns because there is no guarantee other people will understand why it is unnerving. There is no immediate danger, after all. But you feel awkward, and uncomfortable, and violated. You know you are being reduced to nothing more than the sum of your parts. You know that if it came to it you would not be able to physically defend yourself. You know if you say something you will be accused of making a fuss for no reason; of being paranoid; or of having an inflated opinion of yourself. You cannot prove what is happening. You don’t know what to do with your body. I did not know whether or not I should cover my chest with my book, or if making any sort of contact with my bust would provide some sort of titillation and constitute “teasing.” Would acknowledging what he was doing without loudly criticising it be interpreted as endorsement or a come on? I was not sure. I was just on my way home.

Similar things have happened to me over the years. I’ve been told I have “fantastic tits,” asked by someone if he could “suck” them, “have-a-go” on them, told I would give an “excellent tit-wank,” and fought off a number of attempts by strange men to grab and fondle the “fun bags.” One spectacled office worker once cupped my left boob as he disembarked from a packed rush hour bus in Tufnell Park. Sometimes I feel like a walking fruit cart pedalling a pair of melons passers-by cannot help but test for ripeness. It is not pleasant, but I can understand why this happens.

Porn features women who look like caricatures drawn by Hugh Hefner after binging on the Best of Benny Hill. Regardless of the size of these women, their breasts are unanimously large. Massive, in fact, in a way that does not appear to be anatomically possible. Big, round, perfectly symmetrical, and solid. Men have been wired to think that they must find large breasts sexually desirable; that they are the life-saving buoys floating in the sea of sexual frustration that will offer them salvation; that is it acceptable for them to make sexually explicit comments when a pair of large boobs appear because that’s what real, tearing-chunks-of-meat-off-the-sides-of-cows, red-blooded men are supposed to do. Conversely, women have been wired to think that they are not sexually desirable unless they are smuggling a pair of basket balls.

But having physical attributes that fit the porn template is not pleasant. Gigantic mammaries have become synonymous with sexual attractiveness and sexual availability. This means that any woman with large breasts grows up expecting a certain level of sexual harassment from men -and feels that she is powerless to stop it. The irrational subtext to this is as follows: how can the lads be expected to display any sort of self-control when they are told they should want big tits, and that women with big tits by default want to be sexually objectified and treated like sex toys? Men assume that because I have large breasts, like them women wot are in porn, I will likewise be begging for the money shot; that I have a desire, nay, a duty, to sexually satisfy them. I don’t really get to challenge their misconceptions. I am just a pair of tits.

Women with large breasts are never described as elegant. They are curvy, and sexy, and bubbly. They are not taken seriously.  They are cheap and sexually accommodating. They are “easy.” We are forced into a position of having to apologise for our breasts, making a concerted effort to conceal them so we are not considered complicit in our own sexual objectification. I have found that a number of other women make no secret of their distaste if some flesh can be seen; a bit of cleavage is on show; or if the size of the breasts can be made out under clothing. Some stare as much as men, and often they will turn their heads with pursed lips, a look of disgust on their faces, presumably because they, too, think I am overtly showing the world that I am up for it. This is difficult to deal with. I know in many cases these women think I am “flaunting” my bust and feeding into rigid notions of what constitutes female sexual attractiveness. They may think I am offending common decency. That I am single-handedly reversing the hard-earned victories of my feminist foremothers. That I have no self-respect. But the fact is I am not “showing them off.” They are unfortunately just noticeable by virtue of their size. The magic circle has not yet launched a lingerie line and, until they do, it is unlikely I will find a bra that lives up to its promises to visually reduce the size of the female bust I had no control over the physical attributes nature gave to me.

I can remember as a student if anyone made a remark about my breasts some other women would become defensive and passive aggressive. “My boyfriend says he prefers small breasts anyway,” one of them would say to another in front of me. And, my personal favourite, “I wouldn’t want big boobs anyway. At least mine won’t be down by my ankles at the age of 40.”

It is difficult to defend yourself because you feel you are already strangely at an advantage because you are naturally in possession of something we are told all women should have and which many women actively acquire. You feel like you have to just take the put-down. What you actually want to say is that breast size really doesn’t matter; that, yes, at some point your breasts will probably resemble bowling balls dangling in a pair of Christmas stockings but, it’s ok, all natural breasts sag because of gravity, it is inevitable; that you have no more control over your breast size than they do theirs; that you do feel self-conscious about your boobs; that you would love to have the kind of chest that would enable you to get up of a morning and just slip effortlessly into a summer dress without having to worry about scaffolding, but you accept the breasts you have; and that you know that it is not personal; that as women it is really unfair that we are forced into a position of making comparisons with each other in this way through no fault of our own.

It is absurd that the size of our breasts is considered directly proportionate to our femininity and our womanliness and our sexual attractiveness, as this is such a reductive assessment of the spectrum of sexual preferences and what it means to be a woman. But it is difficult because society has a strange attitude towards female breasts. Whether we have big or small boobs, we are made to feel inadequate in some way; constantly bombarded with messages that our bodies simply don’t make the grade. If we pay to have our bust surgically enhanced we are perceived as vain and superficial. No consideration is given to the overwhelming social factors and the media pressure that lead to us drastically modifying our bodies. Instead of our choice being accepted we are judged for opting for the “Barbie make-over;” for being too weak to just live in our own skin. I know of women who have suffered such debilitating back-ache due to the size of their breasts that they have had to have them surgically reduced. Their choice was questioned and trivialised by others who could not fathom the fact that a woman would take action to make her boobs smaller despite medical evidence indicating it was the best decision. What they needed was support and not cheap “what a waste” quips to get them through.

The truth is that you are not sexless or unattractive or undesirable if you have a flat chest, but nor are you and airhead or a bimbo if you have a hefty cleavage. We need to be kinder to each other. We need to try and shake ourselves out of this FHM mentality that makes us question our own bodies and our worth because we do not look a certain way.

40 thoughts on “Memo to Both Men and Women: My Big Tits Do Not Belong To You

  1. What an absolutely fantastic piece. Beautifully written. Your line “I was not sure. I was just on my way home.” made me well up. Not having a noticeably large chest, I haven’t experienced this particular problem but it just made me think about the countless times I have been trying to work out how to react/respond in a situation when I am receiving unwanted attention when I should just be able to travel in peace and as you say, all the thoughts that rush through your head when trying to work out how to react, when you should just be able to get home.

    Truly great piece.

  2. Bloody brilliant. Thank you. So much needs to change to allow us to feel comfortable when challenging unacceptable behaviour and unwanted attention. Keep fighting and keep up the fabulous articles.

  3. Hi there,

    I want to thank you for writing this. I’ve found it really helpful.

    You say “Men assume that because I have large breasts, like them women wot are in porn, I will likewise be begging for the money shot” I think it’s worse than this. I don’t think your/a woman’s feelings come into it at all.

    I think we’re trained to see large breasts as objects that happen to be attached to a woman. No one cares what an object feels about being looked at or used.

    I believe it’s one of the reasons why men will stare at a woman on her own as casually as they might look at a advertising bill board but won’t if she’s with a man – because they care what *he* thinks about them staring.

    I think I may have just depressed myself… but genuinely thanks again.

  4. Such a great article, thank you for writing it and I’m sorry that you experience this, I grimaced reading about the guy staring at you on the tube. It’s unfair that you even have to spend so much time and energy thinking about what you can wear to cover up your breasts, because you’re conscious that your clothing choice will be a signpost for others about your body. I can’t wait for the day when I can wear whatever I like and not be judged for it or for it be interpreted as making a sexual (or non-sexual) statement. It would save so much time and money when dressing for the office.

    I am so sick of the breast analysis, I feel like some men can be ever-so-smug about judging and assessing women based on their breast size, safe in the knowledge that they can’t be subjected to the same public analysis, simply because it’s so easy to disguise a penis – whether small or large – in trousers. I wonder if men would be as judgemental if they had to wear tight-fitting leggings…

    • “I wonder if men would be as judgemental if they had to wear tight-fitting leggings…”
      GREAT idea. Hopefully Regency-style budgie-smuggling trousers will come back one season.

  5. Thank you for this. I love that in spite of everything you still have your sense of humor. Who knew that penises (peni?) can sniff out large breasts from counties away?

  6. YES. This is brilliant. This is everything. THANK YOU.

    And if one wants to wear cool, designer fashion (or at least Topshop’s equivalent) with big boobs? Forget it. Sigh.

  7. As a “gifted/cursed” woman myself, I can say that all this is so true. No one has ever touched me without my consent, but I have looked up into the face of slackjawed amazement many a time because I have committed the faux pas of wearing a v-neck. I have completely given up on button-downs, which I love, because none exist to fit my waist that also fit up top without the generous use of safety pins or belting.

    And for all that big boobs supposed to be sexy, good luck finding beautiful underwear in your size. Especially that doesn’t dig into your shoulders, fall off your shoulders, poke into your rib cage, or leave you covered in welts by day’s end. And just go ahead and give up on the idea of a strapless bra completely right now, because the laws of mass and gravity dictate that that will not be happening for any length of time in any meaningful way that you will be happy with.

    But I love my boobs. They’re mine, and they’re what I have. They don’t define me. I dress them as best as I’m able. I’ve certainly proven I’m smart and capable and more than a bit of a tomboy with and around them. They don’t cause me any physical discomfort, thank goodness. Men do stare at them. People do judge me because of them. That’s their issues. They’re not going anywhere. I can’t put them away. They can’t really be hidden unless I hide the rest of myself, and that isn’t happening. So here they are.

    • This, so much! Been underwear shopping for days and finding bras is a nightmare…just accepted I will never wear a strapless bra! Don’t get me wrong, I love my boobs as much as everything else but if only underwear shopping were easy.

      To the author, this is fantastic! Sorry world, the boobs belong to the fine lady who possesses them, not you!

    • Yes! A perfect comment and a perfect article!

      Take note women at uni who say “bras are bad for you! Boobs don’t sag over time if you don’t wear a bra!” Hahahaha, sweet and naive.
      My abdomen has grooves and my shoulders are dented at the end of the day, but because of this torture contraption I can go to the gym in a good tshirt bra and not knock myself out with my own boobs. Yes t shirt bra. A sports bra manages to squish my chesticles and creates a cleavage that sticks out further than my boobages.

    • Yes, yes, yes. Personally, I love the way my breasts look when I’m naked (they’re a nice shape and, while big, still seem in proportion with the rest of me), but I HATE trying to dress them, especially as I have a very small waist. I’ve always been told that the big boobs, small waist combo is “ideal”, but I guess nobody ever got round to telling the highstreet that – if something fits my waist it’ll gape/pull across the chest (if it’ll even go on at all), and if it fits my boobs it’ll shroud the rest of me like a tent. I also find they can make me look a lot bulkier than I am if I’m not careful.

      As for bras, I’ve given up. I very rarely wear them, and despite being well-endowed I actually find it perfectly comfortable so long as I’m not doing strenuous physical activity or anything. I have no problem with going braless. BUT I also love pretty lingerie and would love to have a bit more choice in the matter. I’ve found a few great bras, but they’re so expensive that I just can’t afford to replace them as frequently as you’re supposed to, so even they eventually end up losing their fit.

  8. Nice one. Having slightly-larger-than-average breasts, I limit myself to t-shirts most of the time; if I decide risking a dress that shows even a bit of cleavage I get unpleasant comments even from people I was sure would know better. Most of the time the extra weight is nothing but annoying, I wish I could just take them off when I want to go for a run.

  9. I agree- I have 34E boobs but am a hefty 5’9 and size 16 so my big stature hides them well as does my choice of clothes. They are a hindrance as I don’t want kids and I am really bemused why men are interested in fat potentially cancer ridden glands. Would gladly have an A cup tomorrow- backache and feeling fat aint no fun!

  10. Well written article, how sad that so many guys parents never taught them it’s rude to stare. There is nothing wrong with appreciating at a glance but staring like a yokel is rude. On a light note It can be fun to hand the gawker a bon mot like ” Sorry they aren’t going to talk back” or ” How sad, were you bottle fed as a baby?, perhaps the La Leche League could talk it through with you.”. Love and appreciate your healthy bodies.

  11. This was brilliant and exceptionally well written. Being a woman who is quite small in the breast department, I often find myself dreaming of having larger boobs, and I have to admit I never really considered the issue from this perspective, but this was humorous and enlightening, especially when you said how our breast size does not equal or define our femininity. Very very true.

  12. I have fallen in and out of love with my breasts over the years, they sprouted young and grew big.
    Now that I am knocking on the door of my 40th year I have accepted them, the way people see them, the way people see me because of them and given up giving a f**k. I once went from platinum blonde hair to shocking red and a male colleague in the office (who has never looked me in the face) was 5 minutes into a conversation when I decided to loudly and in front of a room of people ask “have you noticed anything different about me, oh of course not you never look that high”… cruel but it sure raised a laugh from me.
    They are large, pale, threaded with veins like two big sacks of a blue cheese and every year they are pointing a little further south and I love them.

  13. What a great article! I found it particularly shocking to read about the put-downs you’ve received from women.
    I totally agree with your comments about the lingerie industry. As a woman with smaller-than-average boobies I find bra-shopping a pain in the butt as virtually everything in my size is padded or offers ‘enhancement’ in some way as if my mini sacks of blue cheese (love this description Alice!) are an embarrassment… Screw them, I love my boobs!

  14. I used to live with a girl who had huge jugs and all the issues described here. On one occasion she was talking about back pain and one of our male housemates immediately called bullshit, saying he’d never heard a girl complain about having large breasts before (hurr hurr). Her tatas weighed something crazy like half a stone each, so she got two plastic mixing bowls and filled them with water, weighed them, then handed them to him and said, ‘Imagine carrying those on your chest, every day, and not being able to put them down ever.’ It shut him right up.

  15. A nice article. Even though I only sprout a C-cup myself, dress shirts already seem impossible, but it’s still difficult to find a beautiful no-push-up bra (no thanks, I feel they’re quite big enough!)

    But I have a question that this blog seems a nice place to ask: Why can some men pull off the “Your tits look great!” kind of comment without giving off a creepy vibe? Some of the people that can do that I know personally and therefore know they mean it as an honest compliment – but I’ve also happened upon them in bars/pubs. I know it’s not me being too trusting, my creep-radar could stand to be a bit less active, but what is it? It’s usually not the good-looking guys either, neither is it the local drunkard stereotype…

    I can’t be the only one feeling that way?

    • I really can’t imagine anyone I didn’t already know well NOT coming across as creepy (or at least cocky and presumptuous) if they commented on my “tits” as an icebreaker. Possibly if they were a very obviously gay man or obviously straight (there with a boyfriend or something) woman so there was obviously no sexual subtext, but even then it’d be odd. It’s just not considered socially acceptable. If you honestly want to compliment a woman you don’t know there are a million more appropriate things to comment on.

      I’d say you’re right, and your “creep-radar” is less active. Doesn’t mean you have to start feeling bad about it if you don’t want, but I honestly don’t think many women here would feel the same way.

    • I think most women are well-attuned to subtle body language and other non-verbal cues. When a man says “great tits” and wants us to feel uncomfortable, we pick up on that. When he means it as a compliment, we pick up on that, too. Though I have to say that personally, receiving the latter, would not feel complimented, and I’d probably say “thanks, and all, but that’s not really polite.” I think the only acceptable time for a man to comment on my breasts is when I’m actively jiggling them at him.

    • I have friends who can say that kind of stuff to me without being creepy because I 100% know they are not attracted to me in any way so it’s not a lecherous kind of comment, and is just meant as a kind of joke just as if a female friend had said it.

      As for guys in bars, each to their own, but if it’s coming from a gay man I don’t bat an eyelid. From a straight guy it would almost always be the end of the conversation. Because they can’t possibly know how a comment of that nature would make you feel, I feel like it’s unfair to risk it even if they’re not trying to be creepy. Any men I’ve dated have always stuck to the much safer territory of ‘you look pretty/lovely/I like your earrings’ etc.

  16. I really enjoyed reading this article. Apart from it being brilliantly and gracefully written (with an incredible amount of witty humor and one-liners I couldn’t dream of making up) it was comforting to read something that I have been struggling with for a few years now.

    I have gone up in breast size quite significantly, and not in a way where the rest of the body has balanced it out, and I 1. no longer can buy affordable bras (being a student this is truly a problem), 2. wear a lot of the clothes I would like to wear – either out of them being misfitting or because I feel grotesque, tacky and overly sexual without meaning to be.

    My relationship with my breasts is a confused one, filled with contradiction, weird pride and self-hatred. One the one hand – as has been mentioned – I get a weird sense of accomplishment out of going up a cup size. But on the other hand I feel trapped, judged and characterised as an individual with certain personal traits – which I don’t feel like I fulfil.

    I hate society’s unhealthy, skewed relationship to breasts and I truly wish it’ll change one day and that I’ll be able to accept and be fine with the set I have.

  17. Such a great article! As an eighteen year old girl I have spent the past few years desperately trying to become comfortable with my small chest with many conflicting messages surrounding me. You have discussed some great points regarding the associations we make about breast size, and how that can influence our perception of a person. This article really brought clarity to a cultural issue we face. Thank you!!

  18. You shouldn’t stay silent if a guy’s looking at you, they’ll never stop if we carry on being ‘passive’. If I’m in a public place, with back up should i need it, I always call them out very loudly. Normally they’ll run away with their tails between their legs, on occasion you get the brain dead dickheads who really actually do think they have a right to look down your top – these guys are normally looking to intimidate you so in these cases I’ll normally stay calm and smirk – make it known how ridiculously retarded I think they are. Once they see they’ve failed to seduce and scare, you they normally back off.

  19. This is my life!!!

    I love my large boobs!

    But…if it’s not man talking to them, it’s a woman giving me ‘that’ look. Obviously, as a single woman with large boobs, I must be some sort of predator, preying on the poor defenceless be-coupled men…

    I resent the ‘bra tax’ I pay because to get something to hold my GG girls properly and prettily, I’m lucky to get something under £25 when those up to a D cup can get them in H and M for a fiver. Want a set? That’s an easy £50.

    But they’re mine, and I love them.

    :-)

  20. I, too, have bigger boobs. You don’t have to deny yourself button-down shirts. Here’s what you do: Buy the size that fits across your breasts. Go to a tailor and have the rest fitted to your form. The expense is worth having the versatility of one or two button-downs. And, it’s such a pleasure to wear something we love. And as mentioned in the article, Bravissimo has some amazingly beautiful bras for those of us with D+ cups.

  21. Fantastic article, there is such a social assumption about people of any size, but big breasts is the one that’s affected me, too.

    I’m a 32E, and we’ve recently had a project at work that involves bras for larger breasted women. It’s made me even more self-conscious – I’ve always hated them, and they make me feel about 2 dress sizes bigger than I am. There isn’t a day when I don’t wish that they were a B cup.
    The worst thing is when your boss’ eyes just float downwards (and I make a habit of NEVER showing even the slightest cleavage) and half an hour later, his wife starts making passive aggressive comments about “you know we hate you because of your massive tits”.

    It’s difficult to embrace yourself when you’re being blamed for a part of your anatomy that you can do nothing about! But, it’s a relief to read an article that starts a conversation about it.

  22. My heart hurts for you when I read so much detail about exactly how attractive you look and exactly how you were dressed on a particular occasion… because when I tell my stories of street harassment, I, too, feel the need to say “Well, I was wearing fitted jeans, but I wasn’t wearing heels, and I was wearing eyeliner but no lipstick, and my top was red and v-necked but it wasn’t *that* tight…”

    I long for the day when we don’t need to justify ourselves like this. No-one scrutinises men’s appearance in this way. And if I were harassed wearing six-inch stillettos and a dress so tight it threw my stretch-marks into bas-relief, it would still be the harasser who was in the wrong, and I’d still be fucking angry about it.

    I hope this comes off as supportive. It’s meant to be. Peace and sisterly love.

  23. Thank you! This piece is wonderful and I’m sorry you go through this. O know how you feel, I’ve had complete strangers grab at me men staring and in one case when I asked him to stop he replied ‘sure why wear that if not for attention’. I was fifteen, it was my fecking uniform. Women will also get at you oh I wouldn’t want them its not very flattering. I didn’t bloody ask for this its genetics! So thank you for this incredible article.

  24. As an average-boobed person I genuinely do feel for women with very large chests. I have a friend who has a very big bum (she won’t mind me saying as she likes having it) but the comments she gets from men on the street are absolutely revolting. Shocking even to me and I have a bad habit of expecting the worst from people. One guy said something so disgusting to her I genuinely still fantasize about tazing him to this day. It’s like they think she deliberately selected her own genetics to excite and entertain them. Like wtf?!

    Big boobed ladies – I really do feel for you.

  25. I appreciated your honesty and humor and as a smaller breasted woman I have been envious of larger breasted women. When younger, I have been guilty of making snide remarks – out of jealousy more than anything- for this I apologize and am shamed. I hate how society and men pit women against each other. If we are going to make any progress, we women need to stop being jealous and cruel to each other. I look forward to the day when we mentor those coming up and treat each other with the love and respect we each deserve.

  26. Thank you for this! I’ve had much of the same experiences, even when wearing clothing that can in no way be described as ‘sexy’.
    Though, to be perfectly honest, I have found myself looking in awe at other women, thinking ‘she truly has a wonderful pair of breasts’. Seems (to me at least) they are – in quite a literal sense- attractive.

  27. My first bra was a 38B. I was nine. By the time I was twelve, I was wearing 40Gs. I’m wearing a 38I right now and I’m sixteen. I’ve never owned more than two bras at a time because we live in a small town, there’s only one place that sells bras in my size and it’s really expensive. At summer camps, other girls would ask me how big my bra was and, after telling them, react with “is that even a size?”. This, on top of crippling insecurity about my weight, lead to me to absolutely loathe my large breasts. I have spent hours of my life bawling my eyes out – in changing rooms, bathrooms, my bedroom – because nothing I did made me look pretty. I was just a fat girl with monster-freak boobs. To this day, I’m suspicious that guys won’t date me because of my breasts. And they hurt, I work a retail job in fast food where I’m on my feet all the time and my back is killing by the end of a shift. I’ve been trying to convince my mother to let me have a breast reduction (she went through the same process and is not unsupportive of the idea) for about a year now, but I know I will not be considered unless I lose a significant amount of weight, which is difficult because I am constantly plagued with back pains.

    Bottom line – if other girls are allowed to be unhappy with their small breasts then I am allowed to be unhappy with my gigantic ones. My want to physically reduce them stems from a desire to be healthy and to fit into clothes like a normal person. Us women should just stop lashing out at each other because of our own insecurities and realize that we’re all in the same goddam boat.

    Anyways, that’s my two cents on the subject.

  28. bravo-kudos-younailedit-bullseye!!!

    could write heaps to say how m greatfull for coming across this article so id admit.
    I got this now a mission to share this message; as a man “to have more respect for women” especially as changed now from my previous views of women sexuality.
    Thanks.

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