There was a time when the first year of your teenagehood signalled a voucher from Tammy Girl and an overdose of Sherbet Fountains. Nowadays, it’s all engagement ring imagery and boobies, appaz. This little gem appeared today in a Real Shop and everything, which just leads us to shudder at the thought of what might comprise the fourteenth birthday card – all suggestions ‘welcome’.
Well, on my 13th birthday (and yes, the irony was not lost on me) all my birthday presents – as yet unwrapped – were stolen from the house we were staying in. Happy freakin’ birthday, newly teenage girl!
Vile though it is, the card was manufactured 15 years ago and it’s a bit bizarre that any are still in circulation (see http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2012/dec/07/hallmark-horrifying-13th-birthday-card).
I mean, it’s still terrible and appalling and not even funny (indeed, it doesn’t really make any sense), but it’s not really from ‘nowadays’!
I was following the whole thing on twitter, and Hallmark apologised for it and said they’d try to remove all copies in circulation. Good of them. Dunno who ever thought this was an appropriate card to sell, even 15 years ago, though!!
Kill me now.
Does this mean the bigger your breasts, the better the presents you should get? Because I’m waiting for a trolley dash in Tiffany in that case.