My life got immeasurably better since I started ‘liking’ Cosmopolitan on Facebook, not because I’m a fan of their constant hot-pink omg-bleating internet diarrhea, but because, over the last few weeks, I’ve started to see something both interesting and hilarious happening. Cosmo readers (all fifteen of them, it appears – they really need to work on their engagement) seem to be liberating themselves from the shackles of their girly masters through the well-recognised medium of being sarcastic and rude on the internet. What we seem to be witnessing is a full-on pissed off lady-rebellion against all the pointless, saccharine, squealing content that is being thrown at us – HUZZAH!
Here are my top ten favourite kinds of comments from the Cosmo UK Facebook page:
1. The ‘why are you such a bunch of hypocrites comment’
Points out the latent contradictions within any given statement made by Cosmo. Example, Katherine Jenkins:
2. The ‘that’s not punk, Cosmo’ comment (also, doesn’t Kinkster Mike sound lovely?)
3. The ‘I can’t take much more of this fucking bullshit’ comment
4. The ‘I’m not sinking to your level because I’m a positive person’ comment
5. The ‘are you kidding me right now?’ comment
6. The ‘Nope, sorry, I’m not buying it’ comment
7. The ‘voice of reason’ comment
8. The ‘So fucking what if Melissa Joan Hart likes girls?’ comment
Also, props to the person who answered ‘she probably found out that cats can’t really talk’
8. The ‘Er…no, you read that wrong’ comment
9. The ‘who cares?’ comment
10. The failure to make any kind of impact at all despite using the word ‘sex’ no-comment comment
Tune in next week for yet more fucked off women on the verge when we turn our attention to the EVEN MORE FRUITFUL US Cosmo’s Facebook page. Sneak peak:
Laterz, ladybros.
Their obsession with Miley is weird. It’s also bullying. Also, the kissing girls/drugs thing, kill me now.
the first thing appalled me so much. how when someone completes a marathon should the make up be mentioned UNLESS its a make up magazine about that type of make up is beyond me.
at first I was like oh this is so negative all these people are adding to the negativity and maybe a felt a bit sorry for the people who wrote the articles, because getting told your shit is horrible and i am sure they are ordered from so high to write this bile that its not even what they want to do..
but then i thought no. it needs to stop. the message needs to get across. this magazine is horrid.
you’re*
I love it! You’re almost making me want to “like” their page so I can make the same sort of comments!
Yeah I might “like” them too now… I have Company, and they’re bad enough. I stopped reading Cosmo about 2 years ago when they had a really insulting article about why I shouldn’t wait to have babies. It’s my f*cking womb gtfo!
yay, fame at last! i got banned from the cosmo uk page lol